Recently, our team strayed away from fuckable fake vaginas and tried our luck with a few prostate massagers. First up was the Lelo Hugo, and while the brand name isn’t as famous as some of its competitors, Lelo is still well-known and respected all over the globe. We figured that since the manufacturer obviously took a lot of time to perfect this little gadget, we might as well see what all the fuss was about. After all, if a company is going to ask for your money, then they have to get through us first.
Now, we like to think we create sex toy reviews that are both informative and entertaining, while also being objective and professional. Even though having our prostates tickled is among our top 10 favorite pastimes, we have still given it our best shot to be as picky and detail-oriented as possible. The Lelo Hugo might not look like much, but we discovered it was quite a bit more high-tech than we initially gave it credit for.
What Is the Lelo Hugo?
Obviously the Lelo Hugo is a quality prostate massager, but is that all? Well, of course not. It isn’t just some silicon stick you shove up your ass when you’re in the mood; it’s a luxurious battery powered sex toy that is made for manual or partnered play, and it is comprised of some pretty neat technology. As modern science advances, so too do the ways we pleasure ourselves – and now we have hand-held, customizable robots to get us off. This wasn’t ever mentioned on any episode of the Jetsons.
LELO HUGO PROMOTIONAL VIDEO
What Comes in the Lelo Hugo Box ?
So, opening the Lelo Hugo box is apparently designed to make someone feel like Hugh Heffner. The packaging itself is kind of swanky – solid and durable with a clear window framed out in a sort of satiny black material, revealing the treasure inside. Once opened, we found the following items:
- The Lelo Hugo Prostate Massager
- A wireless remote control
- An instruction booklet
- A USB charging cable
- A small packet of water-based anal lube
- A satin storage pouch
Now, there are a few things you need to know about the Lelo Hugo and the contents of its fancy-shmancy box. First of all, the box isn’t exactly discrete so if that’s what you’re looking for, you might want to keep track of that satin pouch. Secondly, the way in which the Hugo works practically required us to have the device in one hand and the instructions in the other for the first couple times we used it. Although we got the hang of the remote control’s buttons after a while, we will admit that it was a little bit confusing when we got started.
The Main Features
Aside from the newbie clumsiness we experienced initially, our ability to understand and appreciate the main features of the Lelo Hugo was a proverbial cake walk. We noticed first off all that it is made from a medical grade silicone which gives it a velvety smooth finish. And that same exact material is used on the remote, which just so happens to double as an external stimulator capable of the same vibratory patterns as the main device. The Hugo massager measures 5.5 inches in length and just under 4 inches in girth, featuring dual curved prongs – one for prostate massaging and the other to tickle your perineum.
One of the coolest features has more to do with the remote control and less to do with the massager itself. We, by accident, tipped the remote control on its side and got a huge surprise. Apparently, doing so increases (or decreases) the vibrational patterns and it all happens in an instant. We kept swapping back and forth between using the SenseMotion technology and exploring the six different pre-programmed functions – all of which can be controlled by pressing on one of three buttons featured on the top of the two-sided remote. It can be quickly paired with the main massager, used by itself, or shut off completely to function solely as a controller. Pretty snazzy, right?
How Does It Feel?
Well, since the manufacturers used high-grade silicone instead of latex, the Lelo Hugo massager felt like it was gliding into our body without unnecessary friction, especially when we used the included lube (or even some of our own). The rigidity of both prongs is almost perfect, although personal taste is a huge factor there. The curvature hits just right for most crotches, but we’re sure there’s at least one guy out there who doesn’t fit. Additionally, we thought the power and speed of the various functions was satisfactory, although some of us wished it featured a few more options. Talk about picky bitches.
The Pros and Cons
Like we said, the Lelo Hugo is a boss but it still could use some personnel training. We have plenty to love about it, and a couple qualms that we think you (and the manufacturer) should know. Here they are:
- Fits Like a Glove – Medium-sized for a variety of users and experience levels.
- Takes a Lickin’ and Keeps on Tickin’ – Completely waterproof and submersible.
- Goes the Extra Mile – Two hour run time with a fully charged battery.
- Move It and Shake It – Motion activated sensors provide an erotic surprise when utilized.
- So Safe Its Sexy – Contains no phthalates or latex, making it hypoallergenic.
- Whispers Its Secrets – Quiet operation for discrete rendezvous.
- For Busy Birds and Bees – Rechargeable with a wireless remote and 2 x AAA batteries included.
- Earth Toys Are Easy – Washable with a warm water rinse and/or toy cleaner; set it out to air dry.
- Maintenance Emergency – Requires new batteries after about a dozen charges, with no indication of battery life.
- Waiting and Wishing – Needs to be charged for an hour or more to provide 120 minutes of play time.
- The Bigger the Better – Not ideal for experienced users who are accustomed to or who prefer bigger prongs, or for those who have exceptionally large balls.
- Special Forces – To preserve the medical grade silicone, an antibacterial toy cleaning spray is recommended by the manufacturer (and it costs about 15 bucks for 2 ounces).
- Power Problems – Vibration strength begins to wane once the battery starts to weaken, which is always a mystery.
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Since we have yet to find a product, let alone a sex toy, that is perfect in all its ways, it does not surprise us that we could find several faults in a device that has the sole purpose of making us cum from the bum. Hell, you could hand our team a million dollars and we would examine it so closely we’d find something wrong with it. It’s our job to fussy little assholes (literally), so get off our backs (just kidding).
Our Final Verdict
It takes a lot to catch our attention these days, but not much to make us walk away. With that said, we should probably mention that most of the guys on our team used the Lelo Hugo for about a month straight. If it were no good, we would have simply thrown it away and moved on to the next assignment. Trust us, we are more than eager to see what our boss has in store for our cocks next. Don’t get it twisted.
The Lelo Hugo is, in our opinion, a solid sex toy with a lot of user-friendly features – most of which seem to be designed using negative customer reviews from other products. Hey, if that’s what you’ve got to do to create a device that successfully engulfs our senses, we aren’t going to judge. We will say, however, that if you’re going to buy Lelo Hugo, spend a little extra cash on some high quality cleaner and rechargeable batteries or you’ll be sorry (and it will probably happen at the most inopportune time).
Despite the fact that John James is quite the character, there is one thing he has in common with everyone else: he likes a high quality sex toy just as much as the next guy.
Noticing that there were no legitimate websites out there reviewing all the amazing synthetic vaginas on the market, John James set out to do something about it.
After all, it is painfully obvious that today’s men really need to know more about their options.